mysteries you're not meant for

On Winter Solstice, I attempted to do trance to get closer to my Lord.

Normally when I trance I go to my inner landscape: a cottage in the woods. From there I travel to where I need to go, be it the beach, a campfire, a waterfall....

I had trouble connecting; images were shaky and messed up. My head hurt and my throat was dry. I decided to try to go straight for the ocean.

I was wrapped in love and held, and started sinking deep into the water, into the Deep. Usually this would make me feel loved, warm, happy, but this was directly following a conversation with a friend about the death mysteries of Manannan.

I couldn't breathe. I started panicking, like I was drowning, and had to wrench myself out of trance to not have a full blown panic attack.

I sat up, shaking, and asked Him what on earth had just happened. I got a very clear answer:

There are Mysteries you're not meant for yet. 

Obviously I have more Work to do.

Prayer for Daily Devotion

Falling rain, boundless sea

Manannan, my Lord, speak to me

Cleanse my heart, my face, my voice

Give me clarity to make my choice